


Burden of Care

by shutupeccles



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Friendship/Love, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-14
Updated: 2010-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-04 10:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/392583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupeccles/pseuds/shutupeccles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur suspects Merlin has deeper feelings for him and uses Camelot as an analogy to subtly explain that nothing can occur between them</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burden of Care

Arthur shifts his gaze from the citizens of Camelot moving industriously through the streets below to the image of his manservant reflected in the window as he assists the prince into his long coat. Merlin’s expression is openly concerned, determined, respectful, and something else Arthur feels can no longer go unacknowledged despite what irreparable damage may be wrought. Recent interactions with his public provide a way to address the issue obliquely.

“How have I earned the love of my people, Merlin?”

“By not being a complete prat, not all of the time anyway...” The burgeoning smile in the reflection fades as he notices Arthur’s minute frown of irritation. “Because you care. We know you wear your armour and wield your sword in our defence, raise your voice and lay down your life on our behalf. Day by day you stand fast against monsters, be they magical or human, all for us. Why wouldn’t we love you?”

Merlin’s reflected eyes nervously meet Arthur’s at this question and his deliberately casual smile wavers as it is not reciprocated.

“I cannot return that love Merlin. No matter how much affection I hold for them I can never favour one man over another. As much as I may care for and respect any individual...”

“I understand,” Merlin interrupts, fingers busily adjusting the sleeves of Arthur’s coat, then the collar.

Arthur sees how the edge of his words slice Merlin to the bone, he feels them twisting in his own flesh but resolutely keeps the mask of singular detached indifference in place. He admires Merlin’s courage so clearly displayed in the lift of his broad chin, straightening of his narrow shoulders and steady voice.

“You cannot be an intimate friend to all so must remain the intimate friend of none. Knowing this only makes them love you more...My Lord.”

Arthur wants to look away but cannot. He owes it to Merlin to be honest, discouraging fledgling hopes of what can never be without being blatantly dismissive of the genuine affection behind those hopes.

“To be so admired from a distance is enough. I only hope I may continue to be worthy.”

“You will,” Merlin replies brightly, able to look him in the eye at last. “I know you will.”

Arthur silently watches him leave to fulfil other responsibilities, reassured that Merlin harbours no delusions of sharing his master’s bed while knowing his place in his master’s heart.

  



End file.
